A New Year’s Tradition

In my last post I talked about choosing a word to have as my focus for the year, instead of a resolution.   (My word for this year is adventure.)  It’s a tradition that started for me in 2005.  I heard of it from my friend, Christine Kane.  It is only one of my traditions.   A tradition that started last year is to play poker with family and friends on New Year’s Eve.  I invite people over, we eat a pot luck meal and play poker.  This year, the kids (and some of the adults!) played Guitar Hero in the living room while the older kids and adults played poker in the dining room.   We play for fun and for chips, not for money.  It works well for me and my kids!

Another New Year’s tradition for me is fire walking.   Every year the Center for Creative Living in West Asheville hosts a fire walk on New Year’s Day.   The ministers are John and Barbara Waterhouse, and John is a certified fire walk instructor.  I went to my first fire walk on New Year’s day 2004.  I did not walk, but was there to support those who did and to learn about this radical thing called a fire walk.  My partner, Bruce, had been to one fire walk previously, but this was his first time to walk on fire.  It was a very empowering experience for him and one that inspired me as well.  I decided right then to attend the fire walk the following year and to walk on fire.  The following New Year’s Day found me with drastically changed circumstances.  It was two weeks following Bruce’s fatal car accident and my grief was profound.  I walked that year because I knew that if I could walk on fire, then I could survive his passing.

I am blessed to have many wonderful friends, and with that fire walk a tradition started for my friend, Amanda, to ring in the New Year with us.  We walk on fire and do a lot of sauna sweating, hot tub sitting, walking, eating lots of yummy healthy comfort food and setting our intentions for the new year!   Well, this year there was a drought and a state-wide burning ban, meaning no fire walk on New Year’s Day.   Although we felt a bit disappointed, we still had our time together and set our intentions, knowing that the fire walk would be scheduled when the burning ban was lifted.

Well, the ban has been lifted and the fire walk was tonight.   Since that first fire walk in 2004, I have always had a concrete sense of knowing that I would walk on fire.  Even in the throws of grief I knew.  This year was different for some reason.  I don’t know if it was because the fire walk was postponed or for some other reason, but I do know that I had no sense that I would walk on fire this time.  I told my 12 year old daughter and let’s just say that she was disappointed in me!   I shared my feelings with Amanda as well, to find that she was feeling the same reluctance (even after she had made a special trip from Georgia to do the fire walk!).   I had even been toying with the idea that I might just stay home this year and not go at all, since we did not know that Amanda could come until the very last minute.  But since she made the effort to come all the way to Asheville, I went.  Thank you so very much Amanda for that gift!

Then, it was raining.  It was raining pretty hard at my house, in fact.  I called John, and he said that the skies were clearing on the opposite side of town, but he encouraged me to call before I drove to CFCL if I wanted to, or just to show up and we would share a snack even if we didn’t walk on fire.  As we were leaving home, John called me back to say that the skies were indeed clear, the wood was dry and they were doing the fire walk.

John always does a lot of preparation with those of us who are there for the fire walk.  About two hours of preparation that includes building the fire and waiting for it to burn down enough to have coals to walk on.  But first, we have to sign a permission form, and then he goes over details like how to walk, (if you stomp, you can get coals stuck between your toes…ouch!) that the fire gets hot enough to melt an engine block, what to do when you walk up to the fire (Ask the fire if walking is for you to do and if you get a “no”, then please don’t walk!), how to walk to the side (and not backwards) if you change your mind and that someone is there on the other side with a water hose to wash your feet off when you are done.  One very nice thing that he does is to be at the other side beckoning walkers forward.   Beckoning us toward the good or the change that we desire to make in our lives.  We can also choose to have someone join him, or he will step aside and let someone else be at the other end of the fire for you.  He does a wonderful job of respecting each person’s process!  One or both of my children are always there with John and Barbara to welcome me to what I have chosen for my life.  This year my daughter was there with me along with Amanda and her daughter, Chloe.

So did you get the part that the fire is hot enough to melt an engine block?!  The fire gets up to 1800 degrees while it is burning, and it goes down to around 1200 degrees by the time they rake the coals.  They use nice, dry wood and then pour lamp oil on it to make sure that it burns nicely.   After a couple of hours, John then rakes the burning logs to the side, leaving the coals and red hot embers in a path that is approximately 3-4 feet wide and 12 feet long.  That’s about 3 steps for a long-legged person and 4-5 steps for little ‘ol me!

This year was my fourth time to walk on fire and I have to say that each walk has been very different.  The first time I walked on fire, I could feel the heat of the fire but I honestly didn’t care if I was burned or not.  I did have two small red spots on one foot, but no burns.  I was grief-stricken and although nobody has come right out and said so, I think my friends were doing a suicide watch.   My grief was profound.  The next year I can’t say I was much better off emotionally, but I did not have any red spots on my feet afterwards.  Once again the fire was very hot to my feet, but I knew it was something that I was compelled to do.  The third year, the fire felt warm, but not hot.   I was amazed!  It was so very cold outside that my feet were numb and I experienced difficulty walking back to the building afterwards because I could barely feel my feet.

This year was a totally different experience.  Like I said, I did not have a sense that I would walk this year.   As a matter of fact, I felt pretty sure that I would not.  Then as I sat in the sanctuary and heard John talk about making a sacred covenant with myself, something started to shift.  The chatter started in my head.  That little voice started to call me names!  How dare she!

She called me a chicken.  She said that I was a wimp and that I didn’t really want to do what I said I wanted to do.  After all, if I really meant to accomplish my goals I’d walk on the fire and show my commitment.   She said that I was letting down my whole community as well as myself.  She asked me where the hell my chupzta had gone, anyway?!   (I usually have a bit of that to spare!)

So I stood there in the circle and looked at the coals.  I talked to the coals.  I felt the heat on my face and on my body.  I knew that I would walk on those coals again this year.  I called my daughter and Barbara to stand by John.  I stood there at the end of the fire and looked at the coals, feeling the heat on my face.  I put my arms out to open myself to the new fun adventures, the joy, the love, that I desire and I felt the fear.  I took a deep breath and decided that I could just run across the coals!  (Did I mention the fear?)  I took that first step and felt no heat at all, more a sense of velvety comforting warmth, so I slowed down and walked joyously to the other side.   I walked joyously into my life, leaving my restrictions, doubts and fears behind.

I’d love to hear if you have had any extreme spiritual experiences such as walking on fire, or your comments about what I have done.

Pam

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 13th, 2008 at 11:20 pm and is filed under Spiritual Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.